PERSONAL RESEARCH AND OBSERVATION FOR EVERY TYPE OF MBTI - Part 3
How To Love Them and What Not to Do
Every individual expresses love in their own unique way, influenced by their personality. Understanding these differences can help foster stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Below, we’ll explore the best ways to love each MBTI personality type and highlight what to avoid to ensure a deeper connection and mutual respect.
1. ISTJ (The Logistician)
Best Way to Love Them:
Show respect for their commitment to order, structure, and responsibility.
Be dependable, reliable, and consistent. Let them know you can count on them and be counted on.
Appreciate their practical approach to life and support their efforts in achieving long-term goals.
Offer them quality time that involves meaningful conversations or working together on a shared project or goal.
What Not to Do:
Avoid being overly emotional or dramatic, as they may find it difficult to handle intense emotions.
Don't disregard their need for structure or try to make them bend rules for the sake of spontaneity.
Don’t be flaky or unreliable. They value consistency, and inconsistency can hurt them.
2. ISFJ (The Defender)
Best Way to Love Them:
Show appreciation for their care and attention to detail in the relationship. Acknowledge their efforts to make you feel loved and supported.
Be emotionally supportive and provide reassurance, as they may be sensitive to rejection or criticism.
Offer them time to connect in calm, meaningful ways, such as quiet moments at home or small acts of service that show you care.
Make them feel valued for their nurturing qualities, and allow them to be themselves without demanding too much change.
What Not to Do:
Avoid being overly critical or dismissive of their feelings, as they take emotional hurt seriously.
Don’t take them for granted. They often put others' needs first, and failing to reciprocate can lead to resentment.
Avoid pushing them into conflict or drama, as they tend to avoid confrontation and value peace in relationships.
3. INFJ (The Advocate)
Best Way to Love Them:
Be emotionally present, authentic, and patient. INFJs thrive on deep emotional connections and value vulnerability.
Engage in meaningful, soul-searching conversations. Let them share their insights and allow them to express their visions and ideals.
Respect their need for solitude and personal space for reflection and introspection.
Offer them acts of kindness, empathy, and support for their passions and causes. Show them that you care about their inner world.
What Not to Do:
Avoid dismissing their emotions or making them feel like their ideals are unrealistic. They need validation and understanding.
Don’t be insincere or overly superficial, as INFJs see through pretenses and prefer authenticity.
Avoid pressuring them to open up too quickly. They take time to trust and reveal their true selves.
4. INTJ (The Architect)
Best Way to Love Them:
Show them respect for their intellect and independence. Let them know that you value their need for personal space and intellectual pursuits.
Engage them in deep, thought-provoking conversations. They enjoy discussing ideas, theories, and future plans.
Be patient and understanding when they need time alone to recharge or focus on their projects.
Offer them practical, well-thought-out solutions when problems arise, as they appreciate competence and efficiency.
What Not to Do:
Avoid being overly emotional or expecting them to always express their feelings. INTJs tend to be more reserved and may struggle with emotional expression.
Don’t interrupt or dismiss their ideas. They take their thoughts seriously, and challenging them too harshly may hurt their feelings.
Avoid pressuring them into socializing or engaging in activities they find trivial or unproductive.
5. ISTP (The Virtuoso)
Best Way to Love Them:
Allow them space to be themselves and engage in their interests, especially those that involve action or problem-solving.
Show appreciation for their independent nature and give them the freedom to explore without feeling restricted.
Support them in practical ways, such as helping them with tasks or projects where they can use their hands or technical skills.
Enjoy fun, spontaneous activities together, like outdoor adventures, sports, or any situation where they can take risks and have fun.
What Not to Do:
Avoid being overly clingy or demanding. ISTPs value their independence and may feel smothered by too much attention.
Don’t force them to talk about their emotions. They prefer to process feelings internally and may not be comfortable with emotional discussions.
Avoid being overly controlling or limiting their freedom with strict rules and expectations.
6. ISFP (The Adventurer)
Best Way to Love Them:
Show them appreciation for their creativity, artistry, and sense of adventure. They love when their partners embrace and explore beauty and creative expression with them.
Be emotionally supportive and non-judgmental. They value emotional depth and authenticity in relationships.
Encourage their individuality and support their creative projects, whether it's art, music, or other forms of self-expression.
Give them the freedom to explore the world around them in their own way, and allow for flexibility in plans.
What Not to Do:
Avoid being too critical or overly structured. ISFPs need room to explore and may resist rigid expectations.
Don’t dismiss their emotions or make them feel like their feelings are unimportant. They are sensitive and want to feel understood.
Avoid pushing them into intense confrontations or emotionally charged situations that make them feel overwhelmed.
7. INFP (The Mediator)
Best Way to Love Them:
Show them kindness, empathy, and patience. They crave understanding and appreciate partners who see them for who they truly are.
Be genuine and honest in your communication. They value authenticity and can easily detect inauthenticity.
Support their dreams and help them feel validated in their quest for personal meaning and connection.
Provide them with emotional space when they need time to process their thoughts and feelings.
What Not to Do:
Avoid being too critical of their ideals or passions. They take their beliefs deeply to heart and may be hurt by dismissive comments.
Don’t be emotionally distant or uncommunicative. They need emotional connection and want to feel deeply seen.
Avoid being too controlling or demanding, as they value their personal freedom and individuality.
8. INTP (The Thinker)
Best Way to Love Them:
Appreciate their intellect and give them room to explore ideas and theories at their own pace.
Engage them in deep, stimulating conversations. They value partners who can match their intellectual curiosity and open-mindedness.
Respect their need for alone time. INTPs often need space to recharge and process their thoughts.
Show that you value their independence and allow them to pursue their interests without judgment.
What Not to Do:
Avoid being overly emotional or demanding that they express their feelings in traditional ways. They may not be comfortable with intense emotional exchanges.
Don’t restrict their freedom or impose rigid expectations on their behavior. They value their autonomy above all.
Avoid dismissing their thoughts or ideas as irrelevant. They take their intellectual pursuits seriously and need their ideas to be respected.
9. ESTP (The Entrepreneur)
Best Way to Love Them:
Keep things exciting and spontaneous. ESTPs love adventure and fun, so plan exciting activities or explore new experiences together.
Show appreciation for their action-oriented, go-getter attitude. Encourage their daring nature and enjoy life with them.
Be open-minded and willing to go with the flow. ESTPs dislike being tied down by strict routines and enjoy flexibility.
Support their physical activities and competitive nature, whether it’s sports, challenges, or other high-energy pursuits.
What Not to Do:
Avoid being too passive or overly cautious. ESTPs want someone who can match their energy and enthusiasm for life.
Don’t be overly controlling or try to restrict their freedom. They thrive on independence and dislike feeling smothered.
Avoid being overly sensitive or critical. They value directness and may be put off by passive-aggressive behavior.
10. ESFP (The Entertainer)
Best Way to Love Them:
Show them love through enthusiasm and energy. ESFPs thrive on excitement and want someone who can share in their joy for life.
Be affectionate and spontaneous. They love to feel loved in fun and lively ways.
Appreciate their creativity and be supportive of their need for social engagement and fun experiences.
Enjoy fun, light-hearted activities together. Whether it's dancing, attending events, or simply hanging out, they love social interactions.
What Not to Do:
Avoid being too serious or controlling. ESFPs value freedom and independence and dislike feeling restricted.
Don’t ignore their need for attention and affection. They want to feel appreciated and cherished.
Avoid being too critical or judgmental. They value authenticity and may feel hurt by negative or dismissive comments.
11. ENFP (The Campaigner)
Best Way to Love Them:
Show genuine enthusiasm for their ideas and dreams. ENFPs want a partner who can engage with them in meaningful conversations about possibilities and ideals.
Be supportive of their creative expression and help them realize their potential. They value encouragement and validation.
Allow for plenty of emotional connection and openness. ENFPs thrive on deep connections and appreciate vulnerability.
Be spontaneous and open to new experiences. ENFPs enjoy having fun and exploring new things with a partner.
What Not to Do:
Avoid being dismissive of their ideals or passions. They are deeply passionate and need to feel heard and valued.
Don’t try to limit their freedom or tell them what to do. They need space to explore and grow independently.
Avoid being emotionally distant or non-communicative. They value emotional openness and want to feel deeply connected.
12. ENTP (The Debater)
Best Way to Love Them:
Engage them in intellectual debates and stimulating discussions. ENTPs love a partner who can challenge their ideas and keep up with their mental energy.
Show appreciation for their curiosity and creativity. Be open to new ideas and innovative solutions.
Support their love for exploration and independence. They enjoy having a partner who respects their need for intellectual freedom.
Be spontaneous and flexible. ENTPs enjoy trying new things and appreciate partners who are open to their sense of adventure.
What Not to Do:
Avoid being too rigid or controlling. ENTPs hate feeling confined and need room to explore and debate.
Don’t take things personally if they challenge or debate your views. It’s their way of engaging with ideas and doesn’t reflect personal criticism.
Avoid ignoring their need for mental stimulation. They may become bored or disconnected if their intellectual needs are unmet.
13. ESTJ (The Executive)
Best Way to Love Them:
Show respect for their work ethic, structure, and responsibility. ESTJs appreciate partners who share their commitment to achieving goals and maintaining order.
Be dependable and straightforward. ESTJs value loyalty and clear communication in relationships.
Support their leadership and organizational skills. Encourage their ambitions and provide practical help when needed.
Spend quality time together that involves structure and organization, whether it’s working on shared tasks or planning future goals.
What Not to Do:
Avoid being disorganized or unreliable. ESTJs value efficiency and may become frustrated by chaos or indecisiveness.
Don’t question their authority or leadership, especially in situations where they are confident in their abilities.
Avoid being overly emotional or indirect. ESTJs value clear, practical communication and dislike ambiguity.
14. ESFJ (The Consul)
Best Way to Love Them:
Show them love through kindness, affection, and meaningful social interactions. ESFJs enjoy feeling needed and appreciated.
Be emotionally supportive and make them feel valued. They thrive in relationships where they can nurture others and feel cared for in return.
Support their social nature and engage in activities that involve family, friends, or community involvement.
Communicate openly and reassure them when they need validation or feedback.
What Not to Do:
Avoid being too distant or aloof. ESFJs need to feel emotionally connected and involved in the relationship.
Don’t dismiss their feelings or emotions. They take things personally and need reassurance.
Avoid criticizing them in public or being overly harsh. They care deeply about social harmony and may be hurt by criticism in front of others.
15. ENFJ (The Protagonist)
Best Way to Love Them:
Show them love through deep emotional connection and shared goals. ENFJs thrive in relationships where they can work together to make a positive impact on others.
Be supportive of their efforts to help others and guide those around them. They appreciate partners who share their values and passions for service.
Show them that you value their emotional depth and their need to create meaningful connections.
Engage with them in purposeful activities that have a greater meaning or align with their vision.
What Not to Do:
Avoid being emotionally distant or withholding affection. ENFJs need emotional connection and tend to thrive when they feel emotionally engaged.
Don’t dismiss their ideas or idealism. They believe in the possibility of making the world a better place and want a partner who supports their vision.
Avoid being selfish or self-centered. They are naturally inclined to care for others and value reciprocity in relationships.
16. ENTJ (The Commander)
Best Way to Love Them:
Show respect for their intelligence, ambition, and leadership. ENTJs appreciate partners who are goal-oriented and can keep up with their drive.
Be independent and assertive. They value partners who are confident and don’t shy away from expressing their own ideas or opinions.
Engage them in stimulating discussions, especially about long-term goals and visions.
Support their ambitions and provide practical assistance in achieving their goals.
What Not to Do:
Avoid being overly passive or indecisive. ENTJs value efficiency and may become frustrated with uncertainty or lack of direction.
Don’t challenge their authority unnecessarily, especially in professional or goal-oriented matters.
Avoid being overly emotional or not addressing practical issues head-on. ENTJs respect directness and problem-solving.
How Each MBTI Type Shows They Like You (and Don't Like You)
Each MBTI personality type has its own unique way of expressing affection and interest in a relationship. While some may show their feelings through actions or attention to detail, others might communicate their likes and dislikes more subtly. Understanding how each type shows they care, as well as how they may distance themselves when they're not interested, is key to building a stronger, more meaningful connection. Below, we’ll explore how all MBTI types typically show they like you and how they might express disinterest or disengagement.
1. ISTJ (The Logistician)
How They Show They Like You:
They will show up on time, make plans, and follow through with their commitments.
They may express interest in practical ways, such as helping you with tasks or offering advice.
They'll give you their time and attention when it's important, valuing consistency in the relationship.
How They Show They Don't Like You:
They become distant or avoid making plans with you.
They may be short, curt, or unavailable, and avoid deeper personal discussions.
They show little to no effort to connect on an emotional or social level.
2. ISFJ (The Defender)
How They Show They Like You:
They show care through small, thoughtful gestures, like remembering your preferences and taking care of your needs.
They’ll listen to you intently, provide support, and offer emotional validation.
They may go out of their way to make you feel comfortable or safe.
How They Show They Don't Like You:
They become withdrawn, less communicative, and stop offering help or support.
They may avoid making eye contact or may act distant in conversations.
They stop showing interest in your well-being or asking about your day.
3. INFJ (The Advocate)
How They Show They Like You:
They will open up to you emotionally, share their deepest thoughts, and trust you with their vulnerabilities.
They’ll make time for you, even if they are busy, because they value meaningful connections.
They might offer you guidance or support on personal issues, showing empathy and care.
How They Show They Don't Like You:
They become guarded and closed off, keeping their thoughts and feelings to themselves.
They might seem distracted or disinterested in your life.
They’ll avoid deep or personal conversations and might stop seeking out your company.
4. INTJ (The Architect)
How They Show They Like You:
They will prioritize time for you, even if their schedules are full.
They’ll engage in deep, intellectual conversations with you and seek your input or advice.
They may make efforts to include you in their plans and long-term goals.
How They Show They Don't Like You:
They will keep their interactions shallow, focusing on facts rather than emotions.
They might seem distracted, distant, or unresponsive.
They may avoid involving you in their future plans or exclude you from significant conversations.
5. ISTP (The Virtuoso)
How They Show They Like You:
They will engage in physical activities with you, like trying new things or working on projects together.
They’ll share their personal space and time, inviting you into their world.
They show interest in how you think, often seeking your input on practical matters.
How They Show They Don't Like You:
They become more distant, spending less time with you or focusing on other things.
They might avoid sharing personal details or keep conversations at a surface level.
They won’t initiate contact or plans as frequently.
6. ISFP (The Adventurer)
How They Show They Like You:
They will express their affection through creative gifts or sharing personal art, music, or experiences.
They will make time for you in spontaneous, fun ways and will enjoy sharing adventures with you.
They’ll listen attentively to your emotions and will show empathy when needed.
How They Show They Don't Like You:
They become distant, avoiding interactions and not participating in shared activities.
They might stop engaging emotionally or become nonchalant about your feelings.
They stop reaching out or showing an interest in your personal life.
7. INFP (The Mediator)
How They Show They Like You:
They will open up about their dreams, ideals, and deep personal thoughts with you.
They will support your passions and personal goals, showing empathy and understanding.
They will value spending quality time with you, doing meaningful activities that connect you both emotionally.
How They Show They Don't Like You:
They withdraw and become emotionally distant, especially when they don’t feel understood.
They stop sharing personal thoughts or showing empathy towards your needs.
They avoid spending one-on-one time with you and may act indifferent to your feelings.
8. INTP (The Thinker)
How They Show They Like You:
They will engage you in intellectual conversations and may challenge your ideas to deepen the connection.
They will seek your opinions on various topics and show interest in your unique perspectives.
They may initiate contact, especially when they have new ideas or thoughts they want to share with you.
How They Show They Don't Like You:
They will seem distant or less communicative, avoiding deep conversations.
They become uninterested or disengaged when you share personal feelings or needs.
They avoid spending time with you and may seem indifferent or distracted.
9. ESTP (The Entrepreneur)
How They Show They Like You:
They’ll initiate fun activities, engage in physical or adventurous experiences, and keep things exciting.
They’ll want to spend quality time with you in real-time activities, like sports or traveling.
They will show genuine interest in your life by engaging in conversations and offering you exciting plans.
How They Show They Don't Like You:
They’ll avoid spending time with you, and you might notice them engaging in other activities with other people.
They become short with their responses or act uninterested in what you have to say.
They may stop making an effort to include you in their plans or adventures.
10. ESFP (The Entertainer)
How They Show They Like You:
They’ll shower you with affection and attention, showing you care through both words and actions.
They’ll want to experience life with you—whether it’s dancing, attending events, or exploring new things.
They make you feel appreciated, valued, and loved through constant validation and energy.
How They Show They Don't Like You:
They become distant, uninterested, or avoid spending time with you.
They might show less affection, and you’ll notice them focusing more on other people or activities.
They avoid deep emotional conversations or providing support when you need it.
11. ENFP (The Campaigner)
How They Show They Like You:
They will engage you in deep, meaningful conversations about their passions, dreams, and ideals.
They’ll make plans for adventures or creative projects with you, seeing you as an equal partner.
They will show an emotional connection and validate your feelings.
How They Show They Don't Like You:
They become emotionally distant and stop initiating fun or meaningful activities.
They may avoid vulnerable conversations or seem disconnected from you.
They stop offering support or encouragement and might seem indifferent to your emotions.
12. ENTP (The Debater)
How They Show They Like You:
They will challenge your ideas and engage you in intellectual debates to keep things stimulating.
They will seek your opinions and value your perspective, showing respect for your intellectual contributions.
They’ll encourage you to think outside the box and may suggest fun, spontaneous activities to do together.
How They Show They Don't Like You:
They will stop engaging in deep conversations or debates and become indifferent to your ideas.
They may dismiss your opinions, challenge you just for the sake of it, or not take your thoughts seriously.
They avoid spending time with you and focus on other social connections instead.
13. ESTJ (The Executive)
How They Show They Like You:
They’ll show affection through practical acts of service, such as helping you with tasks or supporting your goals.
They’ll be consistent and dependable, offering their time and energy to ensure your needs are met.
They’ll include you in their structured plans and invite you to be a part of their organized, goal-oriented life.
How They Show They Don't Like You:
They may become distant or cold, especially when their expectations are not met.
They will stop making an effort to support or help you with tasks.
They avoid making future plans with you or show little enthusiasm for spending time together.
14. ESFJ (The Consul)
How They Show They Like You:
They will shower you with affection, praise, and attention, making you feel valued and appreciated.
They will involve you in their social circles and activities, wanting to include you in their network.
They’ll show care by looking after your well-being and making sure you're comfortable in any situation.
How They Show They Don't Like You:
They become less engaging and may withdraw socially.
They may stop showing interest in your well-being and no longer make efforts to connect emotionally.
They may become passive-aggressive or avoid contact altogether.
15. ENFJ (The Protagonist)
How They Show They Like You:
They will be emotionally present, listen deeply, and provide a supportive, nurturing environment.
They will encourage your personal growth and help you achieve your goals.
They’ll make time for you and include you in their social plans, showing that you matter.
How They Show They Don't Like You:
They may become distant, not offering emotional support or help when you need it.
They stop initiating contact and may avoid socializing with you.
They may seem too busy to spend time with you and less focused on nurturing the relationship.
16. ENTJ (The Commander)
How They Show They Like You:
They will respect you as an equal partner, valuing your thoughts and contributions to conversations.
They’ll engage in ambitious discussions, seeking your opinion on projects, goals, and plans.
They will make an effort to spend time with you and offer their support when it aligns with their goals.
How They Show They Don't Like You:
They become dismissive or uninterested in your ideas and may stop communicating openly.
They may act as though you are irrelevant to their future plans or aspirations.
They avoid taking time for you, focusing only on their personal goals or work.
